Sometimes I use tarot or oracle cards as a means to receive spiritual insight I might overlook. Recently, I purchased a deck that deals with themes of nature, and the first card I pulled was titled “Walk the Flower Path.”
This symbol deals with receptivity. The knowledge that flowers are entities, who allow those who see and appreciate their beauty to approach them. They don’t strive to be used or cherished, but are inherently rooted in life force. This, to me, is a profound metaphor on the power of the benign. So much of our culture values the outspoken and outlandish, and yet, we’re surrounded by nature which offers volumes just by its presence.
I’ve been writing and reflecting a lot about solitude and this hasn’t been easy. As I described in a previous post, there are rich growths that come from choosing to spend time alone. A consequence of this means inevitably, the person I become through this evolving will cost me relationships, opportunities, comfort, and places that may have worked previously.
As l shed layers, I’m becoming aware of a core self that deeply values the simple. I’m talking eyes gazed upon the lake. The smell of an incense stick burning. Walking and not needing to question where to. Two people sitting next to each other on the bench, at sunset, laughing at facial expressions.
Lately, I explore online dating because I’d like to build an intimate and loving partnership. On these platforms, I heavily notice expressions of self, centered on the accomplished, fashionable, and complex. A man who matched with me recently had a profile describing himself as successful in all areas of life. From his looks, career, and images, I saw a dynamic personality I could intuit many would likely pursue. But this didn’t feel right for me, and I had to ask myself why.
It comes down to who a person is and how their aura feels, rather than what they do. I started to think about moments I was in connection, which stand out, and they were always in a setting of simple. Being offered a ride home by a crush after a busy meeting. The legs of a lover and I, draped over each other, as we said our final goodbyes. Wind blushing a date’s face, as we cycled over hills near the ocean. This is enough for me.
I feel vulnerable to be a little reclusive right now. But I also know that if I didn’t explore this mundane, I wouldn’t be aware of just how special it can be. If any insecure moments have me question my quiet rebirth, I remember the flowers. The ones I see along my park walks or the lily pads along the lake. And then I feel the energy of beauty and grace surrounding. And I know deep down, this is what attractiveness feels like. This is a space created, to be filled with bystanders, who are willing to come closer.